(the picture that was supposed to go with the last post. My oldest brother and I)

I love my life. No joke. I mean really, I know some people say that as a front and a facade but I truly love my life. It has to do with the people I've surrounded myself with. I truly do have the best friends in the world. I haven't always had the best of friends but ever since I've been at Guts, I've been surrounded by people who truly care about me and want the best for me in my life.

Last night at sub30, during worship, I had a huge revelation because there has been a situation that has been slowly but surely chipping and eating away at me. I'll speak on the situation anonymously and in "code" later. The revelation I had was great though because a line in the song said we are welcomed in as God's friend. It was kind of like He was telling me that they were His friends and I am His friend. That He is no respecter of persons so I can't be a respecter of persons either. Think of it as going to a party. There are different people there and there is a ton of stuff going on but you want to keep the peace because the host of the party is a good friend and everyone at that party is friends with the host of the party.

Speaking on the subject, I get frustrated with girls and women that constantly feel as though they have to be in competition with each other. I think it's time we all come together and work for the greater good rather than cutting each other down all the time. We are meant to edify and sharpen each other, not cut each other down. So as women, let's act like it and be happy for each other rather than let the enemy use our emotions and insecurities to pull us apart. (steps off her soap box)

Voluminous Volcanoes... Volcano

My oldest brother is a Marine, and he's been in Afghanistan since late October. They were set to return home this week however, there has been a delay. Those dreaded words that any military family doesn't ever want to hear. We got the call today that he is "Stranded until further notice." I just chuckled at myself because I remembered what Kristina said so many times in Crank about being GUFN'd, grounded until further notice. Maybe we should start using the SUFN for instances like these, might make it a little more lighthearted.
Which brings me to my next point. I think people take life way too seriously. You have to be able to laugh and love and laugh at yourelf and love yourself. As Socrates said "Enjoy yourself- it's later than you think." In situations such as these when you are counting on a time or date and things get thrown for a loop by circumstances out of your control you just have to roll with the punches and be grateful that your brother is in Europe and safe. I can honestly say that I love life and so thankful for every single day. Bumps and all.
I tried to put pictures in here but it really isn't working out for me. I think I'll have to break up with the idea of pictures in this post. Maybe next time.

New beginnings

So, today I was reminded that I have a voice and sometimes I'm the only one that is willing to speak up and say what others are feeling but can't put into words. My professor asked me if I had ever considered becoming a writer. I laughed a little because I had honestly never thought of writing much of anything before. I mean, look at my blog, I can't even finish a blog.
My profesor also asked if I had a blog, he said if I did he would read it. So, here we go. Maybe this time is my for real, like my for really reals beginning to my blog. I won't lie and say that I don't want to be a writer that people enjoy reading. I want to give people what other authors/writers have given to me.
I've been in a young adult lit. class this past semester and it's made me appreciate my teenage years, question them, wonder about them. Reading these books I'm reminded of the person I wish I could have been. I finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower this past week and I loved it. We got into a discussion that sparked this entire train of thoughts about becoming a writer and having blogs and going back for my English degree. Anyway, one woman in my class said that the book was not a good book becuase it painted drinking, smoking weed, and partying in a non-harmful way. She also mentioned about she just wanted one scene that was real, that showed a drunk driving accident, that painted Charlie as not a straight A tudent when he smoked pot and drank and was out late all night, that the depictions in the book were not reality. In all actuality, the stuff Charlie and his friends were doing are things that kids in high school are doing today. You can smoke pot and get straight A's. Do I recommend it? No. You don't need drugs or alcohol to get things done. It just takes discipline and dilligence and drugs and alcohol are a scape goat. That being said, I spoke up and brought up several scenes from the book where parties turned bad, drinking hurt people, and Charlie himself said that he should stop smoking pot.
Books don't make people smoke or drink. People make people smoke or drink. There is a quote by Aristotle that I love and in reading "Wallflower" a line from Bill to Charlie reminded me of it. The quote reads "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." and Bill tells Charlie to be a filter, not a sponge. I think people don't give youths the benefit of the doubt to be able to think for themselves and make sound decisions. Do they need guidance? Yes, absolutely. They need to be taught from an early age about respect and what is right and wrong, however, we can not hover over them and try to make them make the right choices. Have trust in them to make the right choices but be there to help them find their way back if they don't and to help them learn and move on from whatever happens.
I run all over the place when I write and I really should have more of a plan when I come into these things. Hopefully over time things will even out. Here's to really sticking to something.

I've come to the conclusion...

Many times I've set out in life with huge ambitions because I've always been taught to "dream big." However, what I wasn't really taught was the fact that once you start something, you need to finish it. Let me rephrase... I was taught to always finish what you start, never leave a stone unturned, etc. However, I have come to find in my 25 years of existence that if it isn't my agenda, or it isn't something that is shiny or has spinners or just generally makes me go "WOW!" I get bored with it.

Today is my declaration that my next 25 years will be full of things that I have started AND completed. My last post was nearly one year ago, I said I wanted to be a different person and well, physically, I'm not. However, some things have changed in my life. My brother went to war and I'm anxiously awaiting his return. While he's been at war our relationship has changed drastically and I'm not going to reveal right now the source of this change, hopefully in time I will be able to look back, laugh, and say "Jenn, you freaked for nothing." My mother has steadily come to the realization that God's word is truth and life and that she holds the power of life and death in her tongue. So thankful that God is faithful to His word and everyday she's getting stronger and healthier. I'm FINALLY finishing college and ready to start a new chapter in life. I'll write something about that later. Finally, I've found that I do have a say in things, my opinion does count but only if I believe it counts. Other people won't take your word or even entertain the thought if you don't even believe that what you have to say matters.

I've come to learn that through diligence, discipline, and obedience you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. So before you learn to dream big, be disciplined so your dreams don't become pipe dreams.

So, nearly a year later, I'm going to start writing again. Perhaps I should change the name of my blogspot, make a new one. I'd rather not because that wouldn't be finishing what I started ;)

Holy long time batman!

I remember there was a time of my life I thought it was really cool to use that phrase in as many ways as possible every single day of my life. Thank God for brand new mercies every morning. Haha.

So, I'm on a kick, not just any kick. My goal is to be a brand new body by this time next year. I'm talking, if you haven't seen me in a few years you will walk right by me and not even notice me. So far, it isn't easy, and I'm craving for a gym membership or an eliptical (spelling?) for my house because there are only so many nights you can deal wit Leslie Sansone's 4 fast miles......

Anyway, just thought I would share with everyone that since January, I have lost a total of 20 lbs. Also, I am almost in my first pair of "goal" jeans.

Thanks for embarking on this journey with me. It won't be easy but I am set and I will attain it.

What do your actions stand for?

The other night, I had a mini-conversation with some great people and the entire conversation centered on a few points. The main point was that no matter where you are, or who you are, people are watching. Another point was that it amazes me how one bad/negative attitude can change things so much more easily than a positive attitude can. I'll save that for another day though, I have several thoughts on this.
I get frustrated when I hear someone having a conversation about a church service they attended while they are sipping a glass of wine or beer. Do they not realize that people make opinions based on what they see rather than what they know? I know a lot of people who try to portray a good, clean life and then once Friday night hits, well, you get the point. These people, I feel, are taking the fact that God's mercies renew every morning and abusing this privelege we have. Yes, God's mercies are brand new every morning, and I am SO thankful to Him for this. However, if you claim to live for God then do it, all day every day. Not only when it is convenient but when your friends go out, if the place is shady, don't go.
For me, you want to associate yourself with places that reflect the kind of life you want to convey to others. If you spend your weekends at a bar or a club, you are going to convey a party lifestyle to those around you. Now, my major malfunction with these people who say one thing and do another is this. If you think you can hide thise behavior and lead a double life without people knowing, you are wrong, on so many different levels. Why would you want to put your influence on someone's life in jeopardy by doing this. If you are at church on a Wednesday night and then sipping an ice cold "root beer" on a Friday/Saturday then come sunday morning sitting in the front row again, what message are you conveying? Get over yourself, live the life God has called you to live because no matter who you are, people are always going to be looking for one tiny slip up so they can nail you, and even more so the church for it. For real, what are you saying with your mouth? Now, what are your actions saying about you? Do they line up?

Thanks for being married 39 years.

Yesterday was my parents’ 39th anniversary. I’m so thankful to be able to say this because growing up, almost every single friend of mine split their weekends between houses. Frankly, being raised by these two is a blessing. Here’s a story about my dad just to give you a sense of the head of our household.
My dad is a quiet man, he doesn’t typically talk to you unless he knows you, and when he knows you, you won’t stop laughing. He was always our coach and when we got too old for him to coach our teams, he was at every game. I remember when I was in third grade, I had just gotten a new bike and the weather was warm enough to ride it. My older brother Andy and I went with our dad to the track at Hale High School because it was just across the street. Dad was running and Andy and I were riding our bikes. I remember him looking at me and saying “Sis, you don’t need to race, you aren’t quite there yet.” My brother said “Ready, settie, GO!” and we were off. My dad just watched and said as we sped past him “You might want to slow down.” You see, the track was a gravel-ish track and I slid a little on the turn. I had scraped the entire side of my face and shoulder, everything on the right side was scraped and nasty. My dad ran up, picked me up, brushed everything off (keep in mind, I bit it hard and was bleeding, but nothing was broken), and picked up my bike. His next words to me were, at the time, I thought harsh, but I’m so thankful for them now. “Get back on and let’s ride home.” My brother was so afraid he would get in trouble that he hadn’t said a word the entire time except for when I went down, he screamed that I was badly injured. I love my brother. So, I was crying and making a tiny scene but I got back on my bike and rode home with my dad holding the handle bars.
My parents don’t really do big things for their anniversary anymore, well, they never really did, but to them, they were just happy to be together and it was the little things that counted. So, my dad went to bed on Monday night and my mom made him promise he wouldn’t get her anything because she already had the best present of all time in him, so he just smiled and kissed her goodnight. I got home from class last night and on the dining room table was a huge vase of yellow roses. Every year, my dad takes about an hour out of his day to pick out the best card and get my mom something very special. The significance of the yellow roses: My mom has always loved yellow roses, but my oldest brother Rick is a Marine and the yellow rose is a symbol for a Marine Mom.
A closing story about my dad. When my brothers were talking to him about asking their current wives to marry them, my dad took them fishing or running, whatever guys do. I never knew what they talked about until I asked him one night and he actually told me (You see, the guys in my family still see me as a three year old) that all he talks to them about is how they better be absolutely positive about this decision because there is no going back, marriage is a forever thing and he would never tolerate a quitter. I just love my family.

Thanks mom and dad for getting married and staying married.