(the picture that was supposed to go with the last post. My oldest brother and I)

I love my life. No joke. I mean really, I know some people say that as a front and a facade but I truly love my life. It has to do with the people I've surrounded myself with. I truly do have the best friends in the world. I haven't always had the best of friends but ever since I've been at Guts, I've been surrounded by people who truly care about me and want the best for me in my life.

Last night at sub30, during worship, I had a huge revelation because there has been a situation that has been slowly but surely chipping and eating away at me. I'll speak on the situation anonymously and in "code" later. The revelation I had was great though because a line in the song said we are welcomed in as God's friend. It was kind of like He was telling me that they were His friends and I am His friend. That He is no respecter of persons so I can't be a respecter of persons either. Think of it as going to a party. There are different people there and there is a ton of stuff going on but you want to keep the peace because the host of the party is a good friend and everyone at that party is friends with the host of the party.

Speaking on the subject, I get frustrated with girls and women that constantly feel as though they have to be in competition with each other. I think it's time we all come together and work for the greater good rather than cutting each other down all the time. We are meant to edify and sharpen each other, not cut each other down. So as women, let's act like it and be happy for each other rather than let the enemy use our emotions and insecurities to pull us apart. (steps off her soap box)

Voluminous Volcanoes... Volcano

My oldest brother is a Marine, and he's been in Afghanistan since late October. They were set to return home this week however, there has been a delay. Those dreaded words that any military family doesn't ever want to hear. We got the call today that he is "Stranded until further notice." I just chuckled at myself because I remembered what Kristina said so many times in Crank about being GUFN'd, grounded until further notice. Maybe we should start using the SUFN for instances like these, might make it a little more lighthearted.
Which brings me to my next point. I think people take life way too seriously. You have to be able to laugh and love and laugh at yourelf and love yourself. As Socrates said "Enjoy yourself- it's later than you think." In situations such as these when you are counting on a time or date and things get thrown for a loop by circumstances out of your control you just have to roll with the punches and be grateful that your brother is in Europe and safe. I can honestly say that I love life and so thankful for every single day. Bumps and all.
I tried to put pictures in here but it really isn't working out for me. I think I'll have to break up with the idea of pictures in this post. Maybe next time.

New beginnings

So, today I was reminded that I have a voice and sometimes I'm the only one that is willing to speak up and say what others are feeling but can't put into words. My professor asked me if I had ever considered becoming a writer. I laughed a little because I had honestly never thought of writing much of anything before. I mean, look at my blog, I can't even finish a blog.
My profesor also asked if I had a blog, he said if I did he would read it. So, here we go. Maybe this time is my for real, like my for really reals beginning to my blog. I won't lie and say that I don't want to be a writer that people enjoy reading. I want to give people what other authors/writers have given to me.
I've been in a young adult lit. class this past semester and it's made me appreciate my teenage years, question them, wonder about them. Reading these books I'm reminded of the person I wish I could have been. I finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower this past week and I loved it. We got into a discussion that sparked this entire train of thoughts about becoming a writer and having blogs and going back for my English degree. Anyway, one woman in my class said that the book was not a good book becuase it painted drinking, smoking weed, and partying in a non-harmful way. She also mentioned about she just wanted one scene that was real, that showed a drunk driving accident, that painted Charlie as not a straight A tudent when he smoked pot and drank and was out late all night, that the depictions in the book were not reality. In all actuality, the stuff Charlie and his friends were doing are things that kids in high school are doing today. You can smoke pot and get straight A's. Do I recommend it? No. You don't need drugs or alcohol to get things done. It just takes discipline and dilligence and drugs and alcohol are a scape goat. That being said, I spoke up and brought up several scenes from the book where parties turned bad, drinking hurt people, and Charlie himself said that he should stop smoking pot.
Books don't make people smoke or drink. People make people smoke or drink. There is a quote by Aristotle that I love and in reading "Wallflower" a line from Bill to Charlie reminded me of it. The quote reads "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." and Bill tells Charlie to be a filter, not a sponge. I think people don't give youths the benefit of the doubt to be able to think for themselves and make sound decisions. Do they need guidance? Yes, absolutely. They need to be taught from an early age about respect and what is right and wrong, however, we can not hover over them and try to make them make the right choices. Have trust in them to make the right choices but be there to help them find their way back if they don't and to help them learn and move on from whatever happens.
I run all over the place when I write and I really should have more of a plan when I come into these things. Hopefully over time things will even out. Here's to really sticking to something.

I've come to the conclusion...

Many times I've set out in life with huge ambitions because I've always been taught to "dream big." However, what I wasn't really taught was the fact that once you start something, you need to finish it. Let me rephrase... I was taught to always finish what you start, never leave a stone unturned, etc. However, I have come to find in my 25 years of existence that if it isn't my agenda, or it isn't something that is shiny or has spinners or just generally makes me go "WOW!" I get bored with it.

Today is my declaration that my next 25 years will be full of things that I have started AND completed. My last post was nearly one year ago, I said I wanted to be a different person and well, physically, I'm not. However, some things have changed in my life. My brother went to war and I'm anxiously awaiting his return. While he's been at war our relationship has changed drastically and I'm not going to reveal right now the source of this change, hopefully in time I will be able to look back, laugh, and say "Jenn, you freaked for nothing." My mother has steadily come to the realization that God's word is truth and life and that she holds the power of life and death in her tongue. So thankful that God is faithful to His word and everyday she's getting stronger and healthier. I'm FINALLY finishing college and ready to start a new chapter in life. I'll write something about that later. Finally, I've found that I do have a say in things, my opinion does count but only if I believe it counts. Other people won't take your word or even entertain the thought if you don't even believe that what you have to say matters.

I've come to learn that through diligence, discipline, and obedience you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. So before you learn to dream big, be disciplined so your dreams don't become pipe dreams.

So, nearly a year later, I'm going to start writing again. Perhaps I should change the name of my blogspot, make a new one. I'd rather not because that wouldn't be finishing what I started ;)